I Am A Berd Girl

A real fucking god's honest ladies man in the flesh. Walking side-step through every door, eyes on pivots, searching then honing in on the target. So that eye is lazy or the pants don't fit just right, no mind, objective in sight and all systems go. Don't mind if I get right to the crux do ya? . I need your phone number, got to have it. Look in these eyes, look deep into these eyes.
















I have never told a lie. You can believe that can't you? Hard to believe I know because you have been told so many lies before, but I'm so different. You laugh? I beg to differ. I'm not just on the make here. You are so special and though I don't do this often all I can say is that when moved to do so I really mean it. I do really.

I'm sorry if I'm not so good looking. I'm sure someone as beautiful as you has guys pestering you, talking a line of shit, trying to get at you all the time. I don't mean to be a drag it is just that when I saw you I was compelled to come over and talk to you. My god you are amazing.

So tell me something about yourself. Really? That's incredible. And this makes you happy doesn't it? I knew it. I could tell just by looking at you. Those are such cool shoes where did you get them? Oh me. I don't know anything about clothes. I'm not a good shopper but I know what I like and I like what I see.

Of course I don't have a girl friend. What made you think I did? Oh, I have been single for a long time. I only want a long term thing, I don't go for one night stands. I agree commitment is essential. I've been holding out for that special someone too. You are so right.

Wow, we have a real connection. So what about that phone number? No, I'm not on Facebook, are you? Aren't those things just meat markets? Really? Maybe I should get on. Yeah, we could be Facebook friends. That would be incredible wouldn't it.

My last girlfriend didn't want to marry me. She said I wasn't in a position to support her. That was a while ago. She just didn't have faith in me. Her mistake. She just couldn't see the big picture, you know, the future. I have a great job now. Yeah, I make enough, well more then enough.

That sounds like a great thing. There is no shame working retail, you never know you could make into management and one day own your own Pinkberry. I think the outfits there are cute. I'm sure you look really good in yours. I wouldn't worry what anyone thinks. Really.

Tonight? Um...I have to go to a business thing tonight. I would love to go with you. I often thought of checking out Scientology. Really? That's amazing. So what about another night? Maybe a night when you don't have to go to one of those meetings? You could come check out my place, you know casual, no pressure.

I need your phone number right? Here let me put it in my phone. How about tomorrow night? You work? What time do you get off? That's pretty late but if you're okay with it then so am I. Amazing. I'll call you at eleven and then when you get off I'll pick you up from work. Don't take your car, I'll get you home.

Great. Then tomorrow night it is. Can't wait right? Me too. It was so great meeting you. Alright, I'll call you tomorrow night.

Outside the door he called that night's date. A real fucking god's honest ladies man in the flesh. Walking side-step through every door, eyes on pivots, searching then honing in on the target.

Solid Gold Sufferstar

And so then I want you to hold me. To clutch me near to you and hold tightly. To give to me what I was so afraid to ask for. It is only the nearness that I desire and nothing more of you. It is not your touch or the smell of you but the closeness of you that moves me to say what I need to say.

Love Jerry




And so I do want to hold onto to you. To keep you close and warm next to me. I want to hold you so tight and so near that though you may smell and feel me it will be our closeness that prevails.

Love Sue













I only wish that our closeness would never see an end. That once wrapped in the cloak of you that time might cease and forever we might go on as one.

Love Jerry



It is a gift to us both that I feel as you do. I will surround you with my nearness. I will cradle you in my all. I too hope that there is never a wedge strong enough that might move us from our place.

Love Sue




There will never be a wedge forged by man nor god that could move us from our mark. Surrounded by your all we will be inviolate and secure. It is all that I desire, this closeness.

Love Jerry




Then it is this closeness that we shall share and let no man nor god feel he can root us from our place.

Love Sue



That is all I need know. You have said everything. All I need is to be wrapped in your nearness.

Love Jerry



Jerry there is but one thing I need know of you before I wrap you in my closeness. Before I pull you tight and never have wont to move on from that place.

Love Sue



There is nothing that I hold in me that I feel I can not share with you. There is nothing in my being that I will place between our nearness, our closeness.

Love Jerry



What is your surname?

Love Sue



Um... Hitler.

Love Jerry




Damn internet romances.

Sue